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Sentence

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a news headline that reads: "Prisoners 'could serve 1,000 year sentence in eight hours'" followed by the text: "Future biotechnology could be used to make prisoners feel as if they were serving a 1,000 year sentence, a team of scientists claim". Below, Peter Griffin from "Family Guy" is sitting in a chair with the text: "ah sweet man-made horrors beyond my comprehension" above him.

Man

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a split-screen. On the left, a man is being arrested by two police officers. On the right, there is a collapsed parking garage with cars scattered among the debris. The text overlay at the top reads, 'New York man arrested in connection of parking garage collapse after giving homeless people pickaxes and telling them there was a lost crack stash'.

Man

MATTIX · 1 year ago

A black and white photograph of a vintage car with the text "There really was a time when men drove in peace."

Alcohol

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A man in a suit is pictured with the text: "What if alcohol was addicted to me and I'm just a victim? Did you ever think of that?"

Life

Lil’ bro · 1 year ago

The image shows a screenshot of a social media post that says, "Stop saying your life is a joke. It's not. Jokes have meaning." Below it is a picture of a comedian in a green jacket holding a microphone looking offended, with the caption, "Never before have I been so offended by..."

Hate

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

knew she had feelings for me lesgoooooooooooo

A cartoon character with red hair and big pink cheeks is behind bars. The image reads: "When she says she hates me, but hate is a feeling so she technically has feelings for me."

Voice

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost master general

A four-panel exploitable meme featuring the Trollface. The top left panel shows a beaker with yellow and blue liquid, with the text 'The voices are back'. The top right panel shows the Trollface and the text '1) do not listen to them', 'get a forklift', and 'cover yourself in oil'. The bottom left panel shows the Trollface again, surrounded by various bizarre and disturbing commands like 'cover yourself in oil', 'find a sturdy metal chair', 'place buttered toast on a cat's back', 'find two magnets', 'get a forklift', 'buy 1kg of pure mercury', 'let us take control', 'you did this to yourself', and 'kill them all', with the heading '2) resist their commands'. The bottom right panel shows the Trollface with an even more chaotic and layered jumble of text, including many of the previous commands, self-blaming phrases like 'you did this to yourself', 'we can't outrun your sins', and 'this is your fault', and the large, distressed red text '3) make it stop' and 'MAKE IT STOP'. The overall image depicts a descent into a desperate mental state.

Digit

Unimportant Intelligence · 1 year ago

Low quality

A screenshot of a tweet stating NASA uses only 15 digits of Pi for interplanetary travel. According to the tweet, at 40 digits, one could calculate the circumference of a circle the size of the visible universe. Below is an image of the Engineer character from the video game Team Fortress 2, with the text "YOUR REACTION WHEN YOU ARE AN ENGINEER WHO ONLY USES 3 DIGITS OF PI TO BUILD A SKYSCRAPER."

Satire

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A still from a Marvel movie shows Tony Stark, portrayed by Robert Downey Jr., with a perplexed expression while looking at a holographic display of a spinning Earth. Above the image, white text on a black background reads: "The Onion trying to write a more ridiculous article title after getting one upped by reality every week."

Restraint

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a dark mode text post displays an explicit fanfiction excerpt. A picture of Walter White from Breaking Bad, wearing his Heisenberg hat and glasses, with a beard, is superimposed over the text. Red circles highlight Walter White's face, the words 'Say my name,' and 'name.' The text describes a highly suggestive scene where a character is 'trembling from restraint' and eventually pleads, 'Please. I need you. Say my name.' The final sentence reads: 'He's falling apart. He's breaking. You're making him burn, and he loves every second of it.'

Player

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A meme featuring an annoyed-looking, anthropomorphic caterpillar with large blue eyes and a cigarette hanging from its mouth, exhaling smoke. It is perched on a branch. Above the caterpillar, white text on a black background reads: "How Mario Kart Players look at you when you press the Gas button to drive instead of using the Japanese shiddle flick glitch that gives you a 0.2 second headstart."

Meme

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Gonna need some comments here! | Daily Spooky Meme #4

A cartoon skeleton, looking distressed, holds its boney hands to its head with an open mouth and angry eyebrows. The background is dark. Above the skeleton, the text reads: "When you post a spooky meme and no one comments 'thank mr skeltal'".

Injury

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

An advertisement for injury law is displayed inside a subway car. The ad features a smiling man in a suit on the left and a slogan that reads "IT'S AMAZING HOW A BIG FAT C CK CAN EASE THE PAIN." A vertical metal pole partially obscures the word "CHECK", making it appear as a vulgar word. Below the main text, a phone number "800 PAIN-LAW" is visible. On the subway doors below the ad, there are signs that say "Do not hold doors". A person's head is partially visible at the bottom right corner.

Impalement

Willy b · 1 year ago

A historical portrait of Vlad the Impaler, a man with a long nose, dark mustache, and long dark hair, wearing an ornate hat with jewels and a gold-trimmed tunic. The text overlay reads: "TRUST ME. YOU ONLY HAVE TO IMPALE A FEW OF THEM. THE REST WILL GO HOME."

Hammer

Big Jim · 1 year ago

It could be if you believe

Dust

Willy b · 6 months ago

A photograph of a woman with dark hair in an updo alongside a humorous, nonsensical obituary for "Brenda Tent." The text describes her retiring from living at the "age of old," being a librarian from birth, married to her high school, and being a literal bird. It ends by stating her funeral will be held in 1977 in heaven and asks for people to send her "more life" instead of flowers.

Weather

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a phone's weather forecast. The background is a gradient of red. At the top, white text reads, "gonna need a coat on tuesday 😭🙏". Below this, a list of days and their corresponding temperatures is displayed. The days listed are "Today" (27°), "Monday" (18°-28°), followed by "Doomsday" (21°-1000°). The subsequent days are "Wed" (15°-24°), "Thu" (13°-22°), "Fri" (10°-22°), "Sat" (12°-22°), and "Sun" (11°-20°). The temperature for Doomsday, 1000°, is highlighted in red.

Movie

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A close-up photo of actor Don Cheadle, wearing glasses and a dark shirt, looking straight ahead with a serious, almost judgmental expression. Overlayed text reads: "how film majors will look at you when you tell them your favorite movie is fast and furious instead of a 1932 french film about the life of a blade of grass that can only be found in a saudi arabian pawn shop and the british vaults".

Shit

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a tweet from a user named Light Chocolate and Whole… (@MisterOWL9). The tweet reads: 'You haven't heard some weird shit until you fuck a deaf girl. Sounded like I was beating a baby seal.' Below the tweet, it shows '10:02 PM

5/21/19

Twitter for iPhone'.

Sweat

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A young blonde woman on a bus, looking annoyed and hot, with text overlay that reads: "i am sweating like a p3do in a nursery. why do uk buses not have air con 😡".

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