New Medical Procedure Jokes

That feeling when elbow surgery was yesterday.

Two Friends are in a hospital in the lobby, Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying. Friend 1 "*crying hysterically*" Friends 2 "why are you crying?" Friend 1 "I came here for a blood test" Friend 2 "So? are you afraid?" Friend 1 "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger." Friend 2 "*crying hysterically*" Friend 1 "why are you crying?" Friend 2 "I came here for a urine test."

Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.

We thought that my mother died in the best was possible, during her sleep. But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

when your wife gets pregnet and you dont want a kid just come on down to momma mias pizzareia and abortion clinic!

I recently found out that my grandma died. We did an autopsy, and the results came back. They were pretty shocking.

We found out that she died............... from an autopsy.

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.