Medical facility jokes

What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?

No seriously, what is it?

What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?

To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.

So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."

What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?

My heartbeat.

I got kicked out of a hospital once. I told all the COVID patients to stay positive.

My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he'd be fine and it'd only take a few minutes.

Lying bastard never came out.

Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.