Loneliness jokes
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".
When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance.
"See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow.
The second crow takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it."
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow.
"Look at its hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.
“I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish.
“I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home.
“I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here.”
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly.
“Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?”
“I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
What is depressing, alone, chronic, and messed up? Me.
What movie do orphans relate to? Home Alone.
Why don't orphans have any friends?
Because they don't have homies.
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
Why did the orphan rob the bank? Because he wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted.
How many Emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They all just sit in the dark and cry.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
What is a family photo to an orphan?
A selfie.
If I'm still single by Christmas, Santa won't be the only one jumping off a roof.
Why do orphans stay home alone?
Because they don't have parents.
What do orphans get for Christmas?
Lonely.
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?
The emo tried to high five the tree, and it left him hanging.
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(