Limb

Limb Jokes

Surgery

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

Assumption

Person 1: “You assume I’m gay because I have rainbow hair, I’m wearing a rainbow shirt, and I have a rainbow pride flag behind me?”

Person 2: “You assume I’m disabled because I have deformed arms and limbs, no legs, and I ride around in a wheelchair?”

Criminal

A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.

Sidewalk

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

Infant

Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?

Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.

Dick

What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?

I've never sucked on dicks.

Surgery

After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"

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  • Baby

    What has 4 legs, then 3 legs, then 2 legs, then 1 leg, then no legs?

    A baby you cut one off each time.

    Dog

    Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!

    Hit

    If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?

    Set up

    I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.