Letter

Letter jokes

Issue

    • I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

    But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

  • 2

    • Orphan

    • Why do orphans hate the letter FMD? Because F stands for "family," M stands for "mom," and D stands for "dad."

    Prince

    • At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

  • 1

    • Alphabet

    • Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

    I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

    (Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

    (Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

    What letter is really hot? T

    C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

    ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

  • 5

    • Gift

    • Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.

    "I built a big house for our mum," said the first.

    "I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.

    And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."

    A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,

    "The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."

    To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."

    To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"

  • 1

    • Alphabet

    • A kindergarten class is learning about the alphabet. The teacher asked, "What comes after M?"

    Little Timmy reached into his backpack and yelled, "16!"

  • 0

    • Orphan

    • Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

    Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

    I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

    What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

    Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

    What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

    What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

    What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

    What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

    Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

    What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

    Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

    What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

    Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

    Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

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