Lessing

Lessing Jokes

Slave

What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

Idiot

Dogs say woof.

Cows say moo.

Idiots say, "The site will be less dead when school starts again!"

Cd

A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.

Incest

If you've spent less time inside your mother than your father has, you just might be from Alabama!

Priest

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.

Slave

What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

Autism

Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?

-You have to be alive to have autism.

Difference

What’s the difference between a firefighter and Snoop Dogg?

Snoop Dogg inhaled less smoke during 9/11.

Skin

Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.

Scam

Minimalism is a scam created by Big Small to sell more less.

Suicidal people

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

Drunk

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

Paul Walker

Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?

Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.

Suicide

When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.

Line

The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.

Pee

When I'm peeing in a toilet I don't pee directly into the water. I pee on the curved part of the bowl beside the water because I figure it splashes less, but when you're peeing that close to the edge, the sporadic tiny offshoots of pee become a greater threat.

I'm not sure if the accumulation of these offshoots is greater than the potential splashback from peeing mid-bowl. It's possible that I'm thinking about this too much, but it's also possible that I'm not thinking about this enough.

Skeleton

During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.

He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.