Leaf Jokes

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy. They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.

"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"

Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"

They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"

Cradles-By Sub Urban and watersharky Music Productions- I live inside my own world of make-believe Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep I love everything Fire's spreading all around my room My world's so bright It's hard to breathe but that's alright Hush Shh Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no) Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me I love everything Fire's spreading all around my room My world's so bright It's hard to breathe but that's alright Hush Shh I wanna taste your content Hold your breath and feel the tension Devils hide behind redemption Honesty is a one-way gate to hell I wanna taste consumption Breathe faster to waste oxygen Hear the children sing aloud It's music 'til the wick burns out Hush Just wanna be care free lately, yeah Just kicking up daisies Got one too many quarters in my pockets Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket Untied laces, yeah Just tripping on daydreams Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep

One time an and was collecting food suddenly a wind and pushed the ant to the river the ant said help help and a pigeon heared it then he grab a leaf and throwed It in a river the ant climbed on it and then pigeon and the ant became best friends but one time a hunter came to kill the pigeon when the saw him she bites his leg and the pigeon flys away from the arrow and that's how friends are everybody

Knock knock who is there old lady old lady who?

I DID NOT KNOW YOU CAN YOLDL

Why did the koala go to bed?Because it was leafing

An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first

The leaf because the emo got caught by the rope

What is the best way to make a leaf. Go down back around and stir up a tree. Make it spin watch again. Oven baking ding we're done!

did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree the leaf won the rope stoped the emo

What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree

A leaf

gumball: what's that? Is it a twig? banana Joe: no. Darwin: Is it a leaf? banana Joe: no. Gumball: What is it then? banana Joe: It's my BUTT!!!

What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.

aight imma make like a tree and leaf

*****u have to leave right after u tell this joke****

One day leaf asks mom, “mom, why am I named leaf?” Mom says “because when you were a baby a leaf fell on your head.” The next day feather asks mom “ mommy, why am I named feather?” Mom says “ when your were a baby a feather fell on your head.” The next day brick asks mom “rhsisvrkanx” mom says, shut up brick!

What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone you son of a birch.

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. ! She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?" "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.

Now, how about that drink?"

What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke? You should leaf it alone

You’ll parsley be-leaf how many puns I have. Hopefully your funny-bone isn’t broken because these are real rib-ticklers.

D you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears :3

so I was walking in a store and a carrot and a lectus said "lectus leaf" to me.

What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone