What's the difference between eggs, and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.
Q: Whats the difference between an egg and me? A: an egg gets laid
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
Ever heard of iLadies? I laid deez nutz on yo' face!
Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.
There was a women from ealing, she had a peculiar feeling, she laid on her backk, opened her crack and pissed all over the ceiling
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common? They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican
An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind...
...but it will allow ugly people to get laid.
You mama is like train tracks she gets laid all around the country
I snorted a line of coke off my 8 year old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining. Probably because she was already dead
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think "I hope you get laid tonight." By a tweaker with AIDS.
