Juxtaposition jokes

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"

In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Glory 🕳 equals 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 bonding.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.

Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.

Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.

But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.