Juxtaposition jokes

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Is buttcheeks one word?

Or should I spread them?

Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?

The first airplane.

Maths...

....Addition, frustration, subtraction, aggression, depression.

I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.