Juxtaposition jokes

Is buttcheeks one word?

Or should I spread them?

My wife told me to pass her lip stick, but I gave her a glue stick. Now she is not talking to me.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but what do two Wrights make?

The first airplane.

Maths...

....Addition, frustration, subtraction, aggression, depression.

I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.