Jokester jokes

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

What would you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"

What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?

A pedophile.

A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.

What does the woman say to the cannibal at the fashion show?

"Who are you wearing?"

Spell "I cup."

I C U P

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.

After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.

The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"

The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

So a mom went to her kid and said, "If you pray to God, He will give you your sight back." So he did exactly that.

The next morning, the mom heard a scream, so she went to the kid's room and asked, "What's wrong?" The kid replied, "It didn't work!" The mom said, "April Fools!"

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

Why did the mop lick the floor of the bathroom? Because it was so poopy.

I may not be that good with puns on this site, but I got a skele-ton of jokes. Hey, what's the matter pal, is there something crawling under your skin?