Invite

Invite Jokes

I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?

little johnny got a dog without earsand then they invited their neighbours over. then they asked what was his name. the owners said " we did'nt name him anything because there no reason because when we called his name, he would'nt come."

A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there" the boy replied. The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked "do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" the boy replied " "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing" said the pharmacist. That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. the girls father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "you never told me that you were so religious" the boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist"

I done a thing were we have chat hangouts with people that like gwen or just want to hang out do stuff.

All people are in vited

we have alot! Enjoy

Just before Lockdown began, a woman took her 15 yr old son Tom, and 14, 16 and 18 yr old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.

The weekly family zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14 year old was looking a little....plump. By the 20th week the 16 year old's shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18 yr old's belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14 year old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.

So the father waited until he'd talked to his wife and daughters, and then asked if he could talk to his son alone.

"Look, I know your mom and the girls are all pregnant. I'm not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don't have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?"

"No, Pop, we haven't seen anyone since we left the city," his son told him earnestly. "And we sure haven't gone into town for supplies, I ran out of condoms on the second day here!"

Your Friend: Bro I'm having a movie sleep over tonight. I've invited 17 people wanna come? You: Yeah but why so many people? Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers. You: Dude!!!!

There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have it,but you don't have it because you are poor! The poor child answers:You're right it's very nice but i'have one thing that you don't have! The Rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline and all the other games that can be done outdoors and tells ti the pope child: looks that beautiful swimming pool I have is very big you don't have it because you are poor! and the poor child says: Beautiful is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have. So the rich child feels bad he says: Wait but I'm rich, how is it possible? I have everything i want because I'm rich.Why you have something that I don't have? And the poor child says : I have cancer!

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I just got off the phone with kristen stewart yesterday she said I was invited to her cookout this Friday i said I'll come by and bring some drinks like wine beer and liquor so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.

I just a had a birthday party last week at my crib i invited two fine beautiful looking women one was skinny and her was kelly and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita both of them came by i told Chiquita only kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday you can't you too fat and clumsy and i don't have any food or drinks for you so see ya later nutty professor.

So yall remember Hitler right? Ok so I own a gun with Nazi rounds, I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasnt invited, he said "did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said "do you mean nein millimeter?"

A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party and at the party, one of her friends poop their pants. When Sally finds out, she yells “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”

Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom You know we straight with doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom You know we straight with doin your mom I’m doin your mom. Yes yours! I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin out your drawers. Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen But her ass was lookin good all up in those mom-jeans. I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup? She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin at her jugs. Five minutes later she agreed to get with me So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity. I was ridin your mom like she was Mario Kart. I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn’t start. She invited me in the house, and we started makin out again. How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000! Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it. She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it. Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young To be in the bed, butt-naked doin your mom. Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin your mom doin doin your mom Doin doin your mom doin doin your mom You know we straight with doin your mom

A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend. Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, the sharks are not even bothering him! And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."