Insult jokes

You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.

Friend: You're adopted.

Orphan: At least I was chosen!

Friend: At least I was kept.

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."

Trashy pig woman: "Why?"

Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.

Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"

Yo mamma is so slutty, she uses a submarine as a dildo because it's long, hard, and filled with seamen.

"Get a life, dum dums!"

Says the fucking moron.

You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby, you gave it carpet burn.

Why don’t you act like your hairline and kindly take several steps back?

Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!

You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.

If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,

Try salad 🥗.

At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.

The depressed kid getting bullied.

The bully: "You are useless."

The depressed kid: "I know."

Your momma so slutty, she masturbates with the Calgary Tower.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.

Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.

Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.

You really gay. No questions added.

Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".