Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
Wanna hear a joke?
YOUR MOM!
OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
You really gay. No questions added.
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like yours belongs in the zoo, But don't you worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you!
Ur mom gay, ur dad lesbian.
Your d*** size...
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your brother is gay, and so are you.
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.
This joke is short... like your dick!
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
Trump says to Obama, "You know it’s the White House, not the black house, right?" And Obama says, "Yeah, but it isn’t the orange house either."
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you, that's why.
My life, your life, and your sister is a slut.
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
