Iceberg Jokes

A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.

After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.

"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.

"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.

"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.

The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.

"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.

"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.

"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.

"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.

People: The Titanic is unsinkable!

Iceberg: Challenge accepted.

Titanic: ight, I need a place to CRASH tonight.

People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.

God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?

What do iPhones and the Titanic have in common?

There's no Jack!

What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people.

"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.

The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.

Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!

“The Titanic is unsinkable!”

Iceberg challenge excepted.

"We can't go over it, we can't go under it. Oh no, we'll have to go through it!"

What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?

Ice, Ice Baby!!

What do you call a Titan who can't swim?

Titanic!

Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.

What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.

Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.

Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"

Trump: "Screw the women and children!"

Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"

Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?

Titanic, doing the polar plunge before it was cool.

A baby penguin sat on an iceberg. The baby penguin watched the Titanic sink.

Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.

Smash or pass?

"Smash," said the iceberg.

TItanic:...