Hydraulic Press jokes

What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?

Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.

Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!

Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."

Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."

Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.