Hydraulic Press jokes

What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?

Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.

Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

Head of Company: "We need to stop testing our products on animals."

Consultant: "Why? The shampoo companies do it."

Head of Company: "Yeah, but we make dildos."

1 like = 1 more child in my blender.

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.