Howe jokes
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
How did two retarded people get ran over in one second?
They're my friends.
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
Memes
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...
How to trick a gay man into having sex with a woman?
Take a dump on her vagina!
How do you call a black pilot?
A pilot, you racist.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
8 jelly tickles!
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
Asian conversation:
Person 1: Ni hao, how's it going?
Person 2: Konnichiwa, what's up?
Person 1: I've bing chilling.
Random words in my keyboard:
The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.
How do asses communicate?
Through booty calls!
How do butts start a conversation?
"Let's cut to the chase!"