Housework

Housework jokes

The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.

The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"

Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said that?"

Maid: "Your husband."

Wife: "Oh."

Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."

Wife: "Who said that?"

Maid: "Your husband."

Wife: "Oh."

Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."

Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"

Maid: "No, the gardener did."

Wife: "So how much do you want?"

When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,

The present: Laundry.

*gunshot*

How do you know when your wife is dead?

The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.

I believe in a woman's right to choose...

...whether she wants to cook first and then clean or clean first and then cook.

How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.