Girl: Wanna come over to my house?
Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.
House Jokes
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
What did the floor say to the ceiling?
"I look up to you."
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
You're so poor, when a robber robs your house, they feel bad for you and just leave.
"Batteries, batteries, who the batteries in your remotes and everything else you got in your house is turned upside down?"
Yo mama so fat, she can’t even fit in the living room!
Little Johnny walked into his house. He heard a banging sound from up above and decided to investigate. He opened the door to his parents' room and saw his naked mom and the woman next door. He thought they were wrestling and decided to join in.
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."
A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.
One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."
The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."
FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT.
As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"
How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To buy a house.
