how do you make a orphan cry? ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it
Dad:Are you Gay? Kid:Yes. 10 days later. Kid:I’m going to my girlfriends house. Dad: I thought you were gay.? Kid:What’s wrong with you he’s the girly girl of our relationship dumba—Dad:Don’t swear and okay bud
What does a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
Why did the orphan rob the bank 🏦 To buy a house
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up Johnny said when he grows up hes going to be A motherfuking Hustler he's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a rolls- Royce and he's also going to have apartment in the City where his side bitch is going to live he's going to buy her expensive jewelry whatever she wants cars diamonds clothes shoes the teacher didn't know what to say so she calls on Sally what do you want to be when you grow up? Sally said I want to be Johnny's bitch.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door? She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
little jonny bad ass was sitting on a porch one day and a preacher was in the house little jonny bad ass had to use the bathroom so he bangs on the door saying mom i half to use the bathroomn his mom ses wait so little jonny bad ass sow a hat on the step he lookes around and pulls his pants down and shits in the hat well a few later the preacher comes out and ses i see u have my hat well little jonny bad ass ses ya i cout the wolds fasts berd the preacher ses well let me see him little jonny bad ass ses no i dont know well the preacher ses ill put my handes by the hat you lift and ill cach him well little jonny bad ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapt his handes and little jonny bad ass ses now see the bird don shit and ran.
I own a gun with Nazi rounds and shot a guy who broke into my house. He said “did you just shoot me with a Nazi round?” and I replied “do you mean Nein millimeter?”
Why boys feel safe at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch? Ronald McDonald's don't put his meat between boy's buns
when your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school. When you get home your mom with the belt going 1k m9iles per hour.
Whats the similarities between spiderman and a homeless person
They both have no way home!
WHY DID THE GRANDMPA LEAVE THE HOUSE TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE???? TO GET THE ICE CREAM FOR THE GRANDMA
if the moon landing was fake so is your house
Was busy robbing a house as quietly as possible and saw a woman catching me in the act, decided to get her on the act and gave away my location from the noise
Yo mama so fat the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her
A father of five puts on gas mask and a hazard suit, and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked "Dad, what are you wearing?". The father would answer with "A costume for Halloween.". the child asked "can i join?". He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. *after that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
JoE mAmA sO FaT ThaT whEn sANtA cAmE tO OuR HoUsE hE sAiD " hO hO hOLy sHiT, sHe dAmN ThiCK - - " .v.
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: Bro, you still got my Nikes? Boy 2: Ye, sorry. I got em dirty. Boy 1: Please clean them, we have school tomorrow.
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
Jesus was being hug up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out ''Peter, peter come to me!'' So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when i reach the top the Romans cut of my arms and chuck me back down the hill. ''Peter, peter come to me!'' cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill then the Romans cut my legs of and threw me back down. For the third time Jesus cries ''Peter peter come to me!''. So i wriggle up the hill and I guess the romans pitied me and let me through. ''Look peter, I can see my house from here!''
Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.
'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.
And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'
To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'
To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'
