Hooves jokes

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.

What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?

Anything you want—he can’t hear you.

Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!

What do five dicks sticking out of glory holes and five udders both have in common? They are ready for milking.

Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.

Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.

Little Johnny: What are you doing?

Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.

Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.

Why do horses eat with their mouth open?

Because they have bad stable manners.

A horse walks into a bar.

Several of the patrons quickly get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.