Home jokes

I made this up.

I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.

Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find home.

I like Christmas.

It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁

What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?

An orphan.

I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.

So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!

My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.

I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!

What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

The Chinese kid has a home.

You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."

Friend: Hey, wanna race home?

Orphan: What home?

Why can't orphans use a phone?

Because they don't have a home screen.

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

What do you call an orphan?

Homeless.

Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.

We're taking the orphans to the movies. We are watching Spiderman: No Way Home.

What do orphans and TVs have in common?

At least one of them has a home.

Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?

Because they never came home.

For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.

Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"

Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.

I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.