Home jokes
Why do the orphans fuck in their cars?
Because they don't know what a home is.
I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.
By the way, he was an orphan.
Why did a Mexican go to Home Depot?
Because he thought it said "Home Deport."
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
The baseball player knows where home base is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home plate.
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
Why does an orphan hate playing baseball?
Because it has no home base.
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they won't know where home plate is.
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.