Home jokes
Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
What's an orphan's favorite shop? Home Depot.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.
What's the worst place to teach an orphan? Homeschool.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
Sometimes orphans can't win spelling bees because they don't know how to spell "home."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
What is an orphan's least favorite store? Home Depot.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.
Laugh now.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
I had a terrifying experience last night. I was alone in the house having a bath... when all of a sudden... I felt a tap on my shoulder.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.