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Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

I met a baseball player, so I told him to make a home run, and he just looked at me with sadness. I don't know why.

By the way, he was an orphan.