Home jokes
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
What might an aborted child want for Christmas?
..... a home that isn't a bin.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they won't know where home plate is.
Joe mama's so fat, her belly button gets home an hour before she does.
Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
But you know you live alone.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
What is the thing that orphans miss the most?
Their parents.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
What is an orphan's first step to the orphanage?
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!