A cop saw an old lady carring two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash. "How did you get all this?" asked the cop. "Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grapped by hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that nobody pees in my yard ever again." The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?" She said, "Not everybody paid."
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
a hunter shot holes into his favorite book. when confronted he said it was the holey bible!
Why is there only a glory hole in the handicapped stall in some public men's rest rooms? because a gay man that is not physically handicapped can't received a blow job from a gay man that is physically handicapped under the handicapped stall
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer? A pot-hole
Your mama is so stupid. We was playing catch I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church? The Hole-y Bible.
donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. if im a donut the hole used to be where i put my feeling and happiness. but people snatch it away from me. anyway,can someone put a hole in my physical body too? i kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for ace from one piece
Why are 10 pin bowlers always in pain?
Because their balls have holes in them.
What has 2 arms 2 legs 2 eyes 2 breasts for milking and a hole to fill with my 9 inches? A sexy female
I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long but boy it's awfully sad Althought I came from a hole (Althought I came from a hole) I'm singin right from the soul (I'm singin roight from the soul)
My fanny needs a blanket And someobody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby
And I'm takin a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha I'm takin a stroll (He's taking a stroll)
Why does hitler hate golf he would end up in a bunker
i was digging a hole in my garden then i found a treasure chest i was so happy i went to tell my wife but then i remembered why i was digging a hole
why cant a orphan see there parents. cuz there is mayo in his dick hole
When you don't wear earrings for a long time the hole can close and it hurts so much when you want to put it back ππ ππππ€£
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said "I inherited a watering hole." Bewildered I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?" "I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Jesus and Moses come back to earth. Moses says, let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before. So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before. Jesus quips, close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last. So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him, Moses says, hey it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before.
What does a ripped jacket and a golfer have in common?
They both have a hole in one.
