How many redheads does it take to change lightbulb?
One! She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Dad\mom:Son,your adopted .son:i know,.*holds up daddys phone that has the text of them talking about it.* dad:babe,we need to talk. mom:ok...... dad:hes grounded. mom:your right,your grounded! oh and im dumping you. son:am i getting a new daddy? mom:soon honey,soon.... dad:i really shouldnt have let her know i cheating
Mom:son get up for school Son:I AM UP *holds up books and says im up* IM UP MOM
What can hold anything on the moon , a. Crate-er
Why did alice from wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
Hey man what's that a dynamite you have in your hand? Ok well hold it over I'll give it right back oh no i won't oh yes you will oh i won't oh yes you will ok fine then you take it or all blow our your butt before it farts.
What do you tell your butt check when you need to use the bathroom hold it in so you want get constipated and die.
How many fingers am I holding? I'm not HOLDING any fingers.
After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter.... ... from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggest Trump to ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary: Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down.
A American goes on a British bus after being in war he wants to sit down so he goes to the back of the bus to sit down but there is a old woman on the seat with her dog in the next the man says will you move your dog the lady says oh you Americans always so demanding and she says to sit some where else he goes through and finds no seats so now he at the back again this time he throws the dog out the window and sits down the man in front says you Americans always do things wrong first yoy drive on the wrong side of the road then hold you knife and fork wrong and you threw the wrong bitch out the window
my mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dads corpse holding a jug of milk.
Guy: My life is like a game, I should end it.
Guy 2: Is it a hard life?
Guy: Yup
Guy 2: Then you can't kill yourself LOL
Guy 3: Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the "game"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
When I am getting bore, I hold a banana start shaking suddenly it gives out juice after a few min I get excited ohhhhhhj.... Try with a cucumber
Can't wait to meet you! So join the Depression family! We open real soon! Try best to hold onto sanity!
I prank called someone and I said is there a miss is wall there they said no they is there a Mr wall there they said no is there any Walls there they said no then what's holding up your billding
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t Remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said “your about to become history”. I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
The streets go blank in the dead of the day not a car to be seen A kingdom of corona-cation and it looks like moms the queen The wind is howling with this virus in the air Couldn't keep it in china everyone knows it's everywhere Don't let friends in don't be afraid Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal don't feel your insanity That the virus caused!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Turn away and slam your doors! I don't care what the government says! Let me go to my friends house Sickness doesn't get to me anyway. It's funny how some distance makes everyone insane And the fears that once controlled me are here and present oh well! It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through! No right no wrong but stay inside! WERE NOT FREEEE!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I'll stay!! Cause I have nothing better to do The virus flurries through the air into my house! The storm is spiraling fear and fractals all around!! And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!! What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past???? DONT LET IT GO DONT LET IT GO!! And you'll rise at the break of noon! DONT LET IT GO DONT LET IT GO!! That's morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT CAUSE THATS WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!!!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.
What did the octopus say to the other? Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands.
