HI jokes
What’s the bravest thing a man can do?
Say, “I’m going to get milk!” to his wife and kids.
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
It's the Olympics.
Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.
"Alex, hi, you here!?"
A dog found a bone. Then he was walking happily across the street, and he saw a bridge. He decided to walk on the bridge. He saw his reflection and thought it was another dog. Then he barked at him, and the bone fell in the river. The dog said, "What a fool I have been," and walked away.
Memes
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
Why was the PUBG player sad?
Since all his friends went to school while he went to Pochinki.
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
Hi, welcome to June's Orphanage. You make them, we bake them. How can I help you?
I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Not to see his parents.
My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:
Allah hu akbar.
Why does fireman wear red suspenders?
To hold his pants up.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!
Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.
Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!