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Question: What do you say to give a woman from West Virginia a "Nice Compliment"?

Answer: You say to her: "NICE TOOTH!"

A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.

The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."

The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."

The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."

The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."

The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."

The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."

The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

It's been raining for days. My wife is totally depressed. She keeps looking through the window. If this keeps up, I'll have to let her in.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a carpet muncher, you have to give her money.

What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

What is the difference between a feminazi and a female prostitute?

If you want the female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.

The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"

The second said: "I'd do it for free!"

The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"

The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"

Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’

I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’

My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...

"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"

Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."

"Oh, right. How's it going?"

"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."

"Wow! What about NATO?"

"They haven't turned up yet."

One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.