Heat jokes
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
Cremation:
My last hope for a smoking hot body.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
I'm high and it's very hot.
I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.
Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
Why was the stadium so hot?
Because all the fans left!
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.
The sun is fire.
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
Ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.
Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.
A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?
B: They're both hot?
A: They're both massive.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!