Harry Coles jokes

He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.

He never has a bad day because he wakes up on both sides of the bed.

His girls clapped, BTW. 😬

Beach whales.

Your fat!

Dan, I'd bent.

Bum.

The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?

Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.

If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?

I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.