GUI jokes

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

Sup guys, how are you?

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.

Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.

Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

Why were the mushrooms the cool guy at the party? Because he was a fungi.

Jeff crosses the US border.

The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.

Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?

Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."

Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

You look like the type of guy to wash his/her hands after a shower! (And don't write in the comments that there are more than 2 genders.)

What’s black, white, and red all over?

An embarrassed biracial guy.

What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?

"Like ur cute g."

That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.

What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the “no-bell” prize.

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?

Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?

Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.

Fat guy: Thinking.

What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!