GUI jokes

Sister

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

Diary

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

Kid

Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?

Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.

Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.

Memes

Dog

A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.

Asian

An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.

He asked, "Is somting wong?"

The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."

Orphan

An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"

The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"

Aisle

A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"

Baby

GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.

Doctor

Sarcastic Doctor: Tell me.

Guy: I have leukemia in the brain.

Sarcastic Doctor: That doesn't concern me.

Family

What's the difference between a happy family and a car guy? Only one has a family.

Guy

Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?

Because they don't have titties.

Wordplay

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.