If Leo were any slower, she’d be going BACKWARD.
Why did the rapper go to the gym?
To work on his flex rhymes!
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To catch some sick WAVES of applause!
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
He had too many BARS he couldn't drop
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.
The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis.
Why did the rapper go to space?
To drop some ASTRONOMICAL bars!
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get a fresh set of GRILLZ.
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
Why did the rapper go to the bank? (Part 2) To WITHDRAW some BEATS
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some DEPOSITS of RHYMES.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To fix his flow.
Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
What’s one thing Obama proved during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he’s still going to have the cops on his back.
The last 2 words you say after sex before going to sleep ?
Goodnight Mom !
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .
I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.
How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?
Why did God build a stairway to heaven?
So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.
