Damn, this new Angry Birds is fire!
Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.
Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
I recently became the coach of an orphanage baseball team.
Because I hate dealing with parents.
Why are Americans so good at Rubik's Cubes?
They are skilled at separating colors.
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
How are an orphan and baseball different from each other?
A baseball game has a home run.
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
What's a priest's favorite toy?
A mute little boy.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Once I threw the ball at a wheelchair kid. Now we are playing Rocket League! :D
What's an Orphans Favorite Toy? A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back
Hello, everybody, it's me, Mariplier, and today I'm going to be balling at Freddy's!
