Family jokes
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
I saw a kid on the side of the road covered in rags and asked if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.
Why do orphans love Oreos?
Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
It can’t find home.
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.
"I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's."
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home plate is.
So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What games do orphans hate?
Bingo.
What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Orphan who needs a parent!
I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?
I love working at an orphanage.
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.