Existentialism jokes
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
DEPRESSION SPEEDRUN starter-kit:
* Parental issues * Money problems * Genetic likeliness * Horrible friends * Annoying neighbors/classmates * School * Being alive * Actually being a good person for once * Giving a f#ck * War-ridden area * All future options kinda suck
My life. BAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHHA
My friend is a pimp.
I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Six, seven.
Do you want to know what gifts God gave me?
He didn't give me any.
I was made by the Devil.
Roses are red,
romance is dead,
every day I suffer from existential dread.
Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"
Me: "To reduce the population by one."
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Hey, Reaper!!! Where are you going?
"I finished my job."
What about me?
I don't want to die alone... That is why I am working my way up to become a suicide bomber!
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.
ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!
Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?
Alfred: Why?
Me: because I'm worthless... =)
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Why did the baby cross the road? Because he wanted to die.
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
I wanna die.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My life.
My life who?
My life is depressing...