Envy jokes

I got jealous when my phone died.

The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.

I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.

I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.

My sis was funny but sad because I have a boy and she doesn't.

Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.

Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!

Coworker, why is Sara so blue?

Is it because Sara wishes she had a man? coworker she always watches you with your husband together out of love. You better watch out dear, she might "saraorize" him, with her crooked teeth and ultra-thin lips.

I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.

Why are feminists jealous of men?

Because men don't have to stand up to piss.

What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?

Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂

There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.

One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!