Empire jokes

Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?

Palpatine: Renew it!

Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?

Palpatine: Screw it.

Stormtrooper: Hey Palpatine! Luke is Vader's son.

Palpatine: Knew it.

Where does Caesar keep his armies?

Up his sleavies.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?

A pair of Caesars.

How do you cut ancient Rome in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.