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Em jokes

God creates a wasp :)

God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.

Angel: okay... a bug.

God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.

Angel: weird.. but okay...

God: and give it wings.

Angel: eh, not half bad Go-

God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS

Angel: *shook* o-okay

God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.

Angel: . - .

God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*

Angel: *cries*

Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*

“Did you show him the pictures of our cats?”

“Yes.”

“Did you hang ‘em?”

I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...

Q: How many dogs does it take to shingle a roof? A: It depends on how you cut 'em.

Yo mama so blind that when she played Fortnite, she got her vision back, got 'em!