Elementary School

Elementary School Jokes

Grandpa

Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."

Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."

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  • Difference

    What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

    I don't know, I'm just the drone pilot.

    Palestinian

    How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?

    Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.

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  • Shooting Range

    I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

    Class

    What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?

    The class divides.

    Pedophile

    Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

    Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

    Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

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  • Dad

    A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

    The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

    Prey

    What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

    Let us prey.

    Suicide

    A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

    School

    Elementary school kids: School is fun.

    Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.

    Bathroom

    What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.

    Drone

    What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?

    — Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.

    School

    The kids at Robb Elementary School went in to read books. Instead, they got dozens of magazines.

    Giraffe

    Why don't the giraffes go to elementary school? Because they are already in high school.

    Helicopter

    There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.

    There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.