Electric

Electric jokes

Cow

  • Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?

    A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄

    Priest

  • A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"

  • 17
  • Vibrator

  • Brother: "I can hear you using the vibrator every night, I’m right here if you need help."

    Sister: "That’s my f***ing electric toothbrush!"

    Brother: "Oh, well the offer still stands."

  • 10
  • Salesman

  • Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.

    "Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"

  • 1
  • Astronaut

  • Astronaut In The Ocean-By- Masked Wolf and watersharky Music Productions-

    Astro-naut

    What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

    When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

    When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

    I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, ayy

    What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

    When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

    When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

    I feel like an astronaut in the ocean

    She say that I'm cool (damn straight)

    I'm like "yeah, that's true" (that's true)

    I believe in G-O-D (ayy)

    Don't believe in T-H-O-T

    She keep playing me dumb (play me)

    I'ma play her for fun (uh-huh)

    Y'all don't really know my mental

    Lemme give you the picture like stencil

    Falling out, in a drought

    No flow, rain wasn't pouring down (pouring down)

    See, that pain was all around

    See, my mode was kinda lounged

    Didn't know which-which way to turn

    Flow was cool but I still felt burnt

    Energy up, you can feel my surge

    I'ma kill everything like this purge (ayy)

    Let's just get this straight for a second, I'ma work

    Even if I don't get paid for progression, I'ma get it (get it)

    Everything that I do is electric

    I'ma keep it in a motion, keep it moving like kinetic, ayy (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)

    Put this shit in a frame, better know I don't blame

    Everything that I say, man I seen you deflate

    Let me elevate, this ain't a prank

    Have you walkin' on a plank, la-la-la-la-la, like

    Both hands together, God, let me pray (now let me pray)

    Uh, I've been going right, right around, call that relay (Masked Wolf)

    Pass the baton, back and I'm on

    Swimming in the pool, Kendrick Lamar, uh

    Want a piece of this, a piece of mine, my peace a sign

    Can you please read between the lines?

    My rhyme's inclined to break your spine

    They say that I'm so fine

    You could never match my grind

    Please do not, not waste my time

    What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

    When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

    When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

    I feel like an astronaut in the ocean, ayy

    What you know about rollin' down in the deep?

    When your brain goes numb, you can call that mental freeze

    When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion, yeah

    I feel like an astronaut in the ocean.

    Mother

  • Today, my mother was making breakfast. As she was tired, my brother asked if there was anything to do today.

    She responded with a list:

    - Take out the trash.

    - Clean your room.

    - Make lunch and be sure to butter the electrical sockets.

    That’s all sweetie!

  • 0
  • Stephen Hawking

  • Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.

    He just couldn’t figure out who.

  • 0
  • Man

  • A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.

    The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.

    The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”

  • 1
  • Redneck

  • A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

    The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

    After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.

    The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.

  • 2
  • Chromebook

  • Danny's Chromebook, Charger in his eager hands, Power for his world.

    Fingers click and type, Words flow with electric grace, Thoughts come to life.

    Screen illuminates, Imagination takes flight, Limitless pages.

    Infinite knowledge, Unleashed through digital realms, Chromebook charger's might.

    Danny's trusted friend, Always ready to connect, Bound by cord and fate.

    Together they thrive, Exploring vast horizons, Endless possibilities.

    Danny with his Chromebook charger, A duo, unstoppable, Unleashing their dreams.

  • 1