Doorstep jokes

How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?

Matt!

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.

So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.

Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

What do you get when you cross a panhandler, a politician, a lobbyist, a prostitute, a sodomite, and a Jehovah's Witness knocking on your door at your house to convert you to their religion?

What do you call a cute door?

Adoorable.

A homeless man sits in front of a Home Depot. A man walking out of the store hands him some money and asks, "Why are you in front of the Home Depot?" And the man says, "Isn't it obvious? Hoping somebody accidentally drops the house they just bought."