Doorstep jokes

How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?

Matt!

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.

The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.

Why can't homeless people be gay?

They don't have a closet to get out of.

So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.

What do you call a cute door?

Adoorable.