Domestic situation jokes

Kid: Dad, where are you going?

Dad: To get milk.

TEN YEARS LATER

Kid's friend: Where's your dad?

Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

"Mommy, mommy, where's my school dress... ewww!"

"Shut up and leave the bedroom."

Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?

Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.

My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.

Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?

My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.