Domestic situation jokes

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My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Kid: Dad, where are you going?

Dad: To get milk.

TEN YEARS LATER

Kid's friend: Where's your dad?

Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.

Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?

Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!