Domestic appliances jokes

What is red and cries and spins around and around?

- A baby in a microwave.

I like my women like I like my microwaves.

Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.

The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.

The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"

The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.