Domestic appliances jokes

What is red and cries and spins around and around?

- A baby in a microwave.

I like my women like I like my microwaves.

Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.

The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.

The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.