Do jokes
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
Do you know where Helen Keller lives?
Neither does she.
Iron Man: Where are you from?
Thor: Asgard.
Iron Man: Do you mean ass guard?
What do orphans do when they get a phone? They press the home button.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Memes
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?
Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
What do you call a cow with no leg?
What do squats eat? Numbers.