Do jokes
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
Memes
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.
How do you know if your sister's on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes funny.
What's worse than fingering your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What do you call an emo with knife cuts on their wrist?
A barcode.
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can finally get love.
What did the tree do to the emo?
He left him hanging.
Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."
Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.
How do you call a very good lemonade?
Fantatastic!
How do you know when a joke has turned into a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
What do you call a dumpster with an antenna on it? Radio Morocco.
What do you call a Spanish toilet?
Elton John.
What do you call emo girls?
Cutting boards.
What do lizards and Queen Elizabeth have in common?
They both live long with dry skin.