Do jokes
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
Memes
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
Why did the emo kid get mad?
I wore a “Just Do It” shirt.
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
How do s’mores communicate?
On Insta-graham.
What do alien moms like to drink? Starbucks.
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
Yesterday I bought my daughter a cat, but accidentally hit her with the car today. I have no idea what to do with the cat now.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"