Do jokes
Why do orphans play GTA?
So they can feel wanted.
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Who do you think is the fastest reader? Incorrect. It's 9/11. It went through 100 stories in 2 seconds.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Memes
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
What do you call depressed Sesame Street?
Emo's World.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalottapuss.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
I hate when I lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. Where do I lose my friends from Afghanistan?
In an explosion.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special Forces.
One time this kid came back from school and said, "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said, "Good news please," and the boy said, "I got 100% on my math test today." and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said, "Now to the bad news, I LIED!"
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?
Guardian of the confessional booth.
What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who smokes weed?
A baked potato.
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.