Do jokes

How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

What flour do you give an orphan?

Self-raising.

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”

What do you call an emo strip club?

Suicidal Thots.

So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"

Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.

What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."

where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!

Why do orphans go to church? Because they can finally call someone "father."

What do you call a disabled kid with a gun?

Special forces.

What do you call a group of redneck superheroes?

The Inbredibles.

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."

What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?

Stab it twenty-three times.

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.

How do you know your acne is getting out of hand? The blind start reading your face.

What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?

They both hang from trees.

A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"