Newest Dick Jokes - Page 12 - Worst Jokes Ever

Gregg says to his friend which is a girl and Says" hey umm do you umm want to do something?" And the girl says" umm sure why not." Gregg says" well then we have to go somewhere secretive." the girl says " umm well ok." Gregg says "great" So Gregg bring Sally to a tree so no one can see them and then Sally says "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?" Gregg says "well pull down your pants and all show ya" Sally says "ok it sounds fun" And then gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy and he goes up and down up and down up and down and then Sally starts to moan more and more and then suddenly a teacher here's her moan and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing and then the teacher gets in on it and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher and then the teacher moans and then the whole school makes their own sex groups and the whole school has threesomes... THE END

abraham linkin was a good man, he jumped out the windoe with his dick in his hand and walked up to a groop of lades and said im do my dute so why dont you give me some booty

little johnny fucked a girl ran away fucked another ran went to the strip club got a private dance he has sex with them fucking ran yelled to some random bitch ass guy fuck him hes a bitch he bends down they have sex on the street they go home have sex little johnny wakes up questions himself fucking does it again he goes to the strip club fucks some more people when he is drunk questions himself some more then tries phone sex but his dick is to small

Yo momma so slutty she did a mukbang video with dicks instead of food.

What is the difference when I have my Dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine

O I forgot you dont got one birches such my dick

One time my boyfriend and i where playing the tickle game and i tickle him on his thighs by accident and i said oh no i am died. Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina and then i moaned while laughing and told him "STOP pls" . Then he said "that's what i thought" and i was like you cheated he was like "you first did it". So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then i jumped on him and pulled his dick five times.And he scream and i quickly ran out and laughed then he rann to me and i screamed and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while i said "ok ok stoppp" and he stopped and start sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while i said pls stop and then i pushed him off and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole and i said" owwwwwwww". Then he said" play with i'll fuck you up". I said ughh and slaped him.

"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

Just before Lockdown began, a woman took her 15 yr old son Tom, and 14, 16 and 18 yr old daughters Sally, Mary, and Annie and went to the family cabin in the mountains to wait it out, while her husband stayed in town as an essential worker.

The weekly family zoom call went well enough...until the 8th week when the father noticed the 14 year old was looking a little...plump. By the 20th week the 16 year old’s shirt was starting to pull taut over her tummy, by the 25th the curve of the 18 yr old’s belly was rising over the edge of the table her laptop was perched on, and by the 30th week his wife and all 3 girls were very obviously 6 months pregnant, and the poor 14 year old was so huge she was obviously having triplets.

So the father waited until he’d talked to his son and daughters, and asked if he could talk to his wife alone.

“Look, I know you and the girls are all pregnant. I’m not mad, I just want to know how it happened. We don’t have any neighbors up at the cabin, did you break quarantine and invite some hikers in, or go into town for supplies?”

She started crying. "No, Tommy's the father! I'm so sorry, I never meant for it to happen, but it's been so lonely here without you....I walked in on him jerking off and just couldn't help myself! And Annie's been missing her boyfriend at college, and it....it just sort of got out of hand."

"It's okay sweetheart, I forgive you. You've been isolated for months, up there."

She wiped her tears away. "I can't believe how understanding you're being about this. When we get home I'm making you the best steak and lobster you ever had! I know you aren't eating well, I was looking at the bills on Amazon Prime and saw you ordered a 45 pound pail of peanut butter!"

He looked down under the camera line, under his desk. He wasn't wearing pants and the family dog was still licking his dick. "These things happen."

When his dick is really really small but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad cause he is a nice guy.

What did the Dick say to The condom

Cover me I’m going in😚😏

Would you rather watch pl or suck a dick Adapt: lemme fart on that dick

what u call a dick wit 3 eyes preston

Llama: Hey sheep the sheep lets play cards Sheep: llama fuck off!! Llama: whats ur damn problem Sheep: Nothing im just having a Baahd day okay dick head?

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever" my dick cooed. I looked down at it a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace

"My dick fell off in the shower" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your Weiner little one?' He says chuckling lightly.

A man goes for a pee in a haunted house. He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "you got a small dick buddy" the man says to him.

A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking he replies "my dick and balls"

so i guess cube was right eazy dick smelling like mc ren shit and eazy died of aids

In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:

“Jfc ****, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to god you’re so fucking bougie.” (Pause) “Oh I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan...” “Jeff who?” “Bezos.”